I've got a wonderful new book to tell you about! And this time, it's non-fiction. It's Dr. Gary Chapman's Love As A Way of Life. And we're having a giveaway, so read on!
About the book--
Each day involves countless interactions with others–not only among family and friends but also with neighbors, coworkers, even telephone solicitors. An attitude of love may not be your top priority in some of these encounters. But what if the ancient maxim “love your neighbor as yourself” applied to everyone, including those you meet in the most ordinary circumstances?
By giving love, instead of grabbing for it, you’ll become the person others want to love in return, no matter what their role in your life.
Relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman applies the seven characteristics of authentic love to family life, friendship, the workplace, and beyond. Eye-opening personal assessments uncover relational strengths and weaknesses, while real-life stories and ideas for building habits of love will inspire you to grow into the complete person you were meant/created to be.
Capture a vision that will transform your relationships and make your corner of the world a better place–by choosing Love As a Way of Life.
Dr. Chapman answers some of your questions--
1. Describe some of the everyday situations that can be changed if a person has a foundation of love.
When love becomes the focus of ones life it will change every encounter we have with people. In the family, the husband is thinking, “what can I do before I leave for work that would be helpful for my wife?” Such thinking may lead him to take the trash out, put his breakfast plates in the dishwasher or feed the baby while his wife takes a shower.
In the workplace, employees are asking, “on my break, what might I do that would help someone else?” They will also make time to listen to a co-worker who seems to be having a hard time with a personal issue.
At the bank, post office, or cafeteria, the lover will look people in the eye and smile, perhaps opening the door to a conversation. They will express interest in what is going on in the lives of those they encounter.
The focus is not on “it’s all about me.” But, rather on “It is all about others.”
2. What is the take-away message of Love as a Way of Life?
Love as a Way of Life is designed to help the person who sincerely wants to make a positive impact in the world. I believe that is ‘most of us.’ Our biggest problem is that we don’t know how and we keep getting tripped up by our own selfish ambitions. The purpose of the book is to help us break free from the prison of selfishness and come to experience the satisfaction of truly loving others as a way of life. It is little acts of love that build up to a lifestyle of service.
3. Why do you need a foundation of love before you start figuring out our love languages?
The five love languages give information on the most effective way to express love in a meaningful way to a particular person. But, if you are not a loving person – don’t have the heart or will to focus on others – the information is of little value. Most of us must make a conscious change of focus from self to others if we are going to genuinely, and consistently enrich the lives of others. Love as a Way of Life is designed to help people make that change.
4. When did you realize the need for this book?
I first recognized the need for Love as a Way of Life when in a counseling session a husband said to me, “I’ll tell you right now, if it is going to take my washing dishes, and doing the laundry for my wife to feel loved, you can forget that.” I had just explained to him the concept of the five love languages and that his wife’s primary love language was ‘acts of service’ and that these acts would deeply communicate his love to her. I realized that he lacked the will to meet his wife’s need for love. He was locked into his own perception of what his role was to be and it did not include washing dishes and doing laundry. I knew at that moment that there was something more foundational than simply knowing a person’s love language.
5. What are the seven characteristics of lasting love?
I view love not as a single entity, but as a cluster of traits, which if developed will enhance all of life. These traits are:
Kindness: discovering the joy of helping others
Patience: accepting the imperfections of others
Forgiveness: finding freedom from the grip of anger
Courtesy: treating others as friends
Humility: stepping down so someone else can step up
Generosity: giving your time, money, and abilities to others
Honesty: caring enough to tell the truth
6. Why do you think it’s so hard for people to embrace these characteristics?
All of us have some of these characteristics to some degree. Most people see love as being better than hate. But most of us are comfortable to live somewhere between love and hate in a lifestyle that is fundamentally focused on self. We feel good when we are making money, accumulating things, gaining status, but in time these things do not ultimately satisfy what I call the ‘true self’. The true self longs to make the world a better place to live. To do something to help those less fortunate than we.
However, we all suffer from the malady of being ego-centric. I call this the ‘false self’. It is that part of man that pulls him to focus on self-preservation and a self-centered lifestyle. This is not all bad. Indeed we must meet our own physical and emotional needs in order to continue life. It is when we never get beyond this self focus, that life becomes a ‘dog eat dog’ world where everyone is out for self even at the expense of others. Such a life never brings long-term satisfaction. However it is often later in life that people discover the emptiness of selfish living. I’m hoping that Love as a Way of Life will help people discover the satisfaction of developing the ‘true self’ earlier in life.
In summary, for decades Dr. Gary Chapman’s best-selling books have shown readers how to speak the “love language” of those they care about. Now he digs even deeper to uncover the foundations of what it means to cultivate a lifestyle of love and how doing so leads to satisfaction and success in every area of life.
Check out Love As A Way of Life here.
To enter to win a copy of this book:
Please leave a comment on this blog post, giving your name and saying you’d like to enter. Due to mailing costs, we only ship to U.S. addresses (sorry, international friends). Please leave a working email address or website where we can contact you (use this format with the brackets—you [at] yourmail.com—or something similar to prevent spamming). It’s the winner’s responsibility to check back and confirm whether they’ve won. Name of winners will be posted on this blog. We’ll choose two names on Tuesday afternoon, July 29. Also, you can always leave a comment and not enter (just note that in your comment).