Thursday, August 6, 2009

My precious mom

Yesterday was an incredibly difficult day. As you may know, my mom, June, was diagnosed with metastatic gallbladder cancer in February. After a long, in some ways, yet oh so brief journey in others, we learned the results of Mom's most recent CT scan.

The scan revealed that the tumors on her liver are continuing to grow at a very rapid rate. The cancer's tenacity, coupled with Mom's already compromised strength, remove the option of further chemo. And Mom's body couldn't take it even if she chose to go that route, which she hasn't. We support her decision with all our hearts, even though it's heartbreaking.

Mom and me on the first day of a family cruise that we were
privileged to take together (May 24, 2009)

Mom's chosen to spend her remaining days at home, so tomorrow we're moving her there and will care for her with the help of hospice until the moment she steps into Jesus' arms. The doctors are hesitant, understandably, to estimate how long Mom has left here but they're saying a handful of weeks or perhaps even days. So many variables play into that, not excluding what God can and might do. Mom could be with us a while longer than that, but we don't want her to linger here, suffering, just to satisfy our selfish desire to keep her with us a little longer. So we're asking God to take her home when He wills, and we know He knows best.

I ask your prayers for strength in coming days, and a special request for my dad as he faces the reality of letting Mom go. They celebrated their fifty-fifth wedding anniversary in March, and he can't fathom what life will be like without her, and doesn't want to. Below is a picture of them together taken at their last visit to our home in Nashville this spring.

My parents, Doug and June

I'm so grateful to you, friends, for your loving support in recent weeks and months. Your notes and emails, your shared stories of having walked a similar road with one, or both, of your parents, have brought me comfort. God is gracious and full of mercy, and my family and I are resting in Him.

I'm with her in the hospital now, spending our last night here together, and I'm watching her sleep, so incredibly grateful for the woman she is and the mom she's been to me for almost forty-eight years.

Heaven is already sweeter knowing she'll be there soon, and my family and I look forward to the day when we'll be there with her.

20 comments:

  1. Oh, my heart hurts for you.

    Praying for you.

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  2. Oh Tammy. My heart is breaking for you. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. I'll be praying constantly for you and your family. Love you, sister.

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  3. Oh Tammy, my heart just breaks for you and yours, knowing how tough this situation is - you all will be in my prayers.

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  4. Tammy, you and your family are in my prayers. May God's sweet grace and peace envelope all of you.

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  5. Praying for you and your family. Blessings,

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  6. Thanks, friends. God's grace and peace are definitely hemming us in. Last night I laid awake, couldn't sleep, and I just listened to mom breathing, to all the night sounds in a hospital, and counted all my blessings. The sun rose and I was still counting. And still am.

    God's mercy is nearly palpable right now. There's pain in the blessing, but also blessing in the pain. Hospice should be here any time to help us take Mom home, and we're so ready for that.

    Blessings in return, and I'm so grateful for your prayers.

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  7. I'll certainly keep you and your whole family in my prayers.

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  8. Tammy, as everyone else has said, my heart hurts for you. Logically speaking, we all know our time here on earth will come to an end, but our hearts often can't comprehend logic. Eight and a half years ago, I watched my dear daddy fight a short battle with cancer. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I can't imagine how much harder it'd be if it was my mom. I had a special relationship with my daddy, but a girl always needs her mama. I am praying for you and your daddy mightily today and in the days and weeks to come.

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  9. Oh, I am so sorry for the pain I know you must be experiencing. My heart goes out to you, I will keep your family in my prayers. Take this time with your mom and treasure it, don't spend time on the book unless necessary, you never want to look back and think you should have spent more time for her.

    Also, I know this is a stretch from our modern medicine, but God has placed miracles on this earth that will heal our ills- including cancer. Put "naturopathic cure of cancer" in your search engine or visit "Doctor Mercola's" website. Baking soda will CURE cancer- they are doing it right now all over the world. I don't want to be pushy, pray about it and let the Lord guide you. I will be lifting you before the throne of Grace.

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  10. Tammy,
    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...you know that. Continue to hold His Hand and behold His face...
    With a heart of compassion,
    Veronica

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  11. Tammy, I'm praying for you and your daddy and everyone in your family. May God's loving arms enfold you and His supernatural peace strengthen you through the coming days.

    Hugs,
    Joan

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  12. Tammy, the road you are walking is so familiar to me, only my loved one was my only sister. She's been with Jesus five years now and, I admit, some days it seems like yesterday that we were waiting for hospice to come. As you know, God's grace is sufficient for our every need. He is the only true Comforter and Sustainer. I pray He grants you peace and even joy in the midst of this great suffering.

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  13. Praying for you, dear friend.

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  14. Dear Tammy,
    I'm lifting up your Mom, Dad and you daily in prayer....I know this is so difficult, but the Lord is in control (as always). He will give you the strength you need, so keep leaning on His arms. ~ And please don't try to do anything except spend time with your precious Mom - - everything else can wait. ~ Much Love, Patti Jo

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  15. Tammy,
    I met you in Denver; I expressed my prayers, concerns for your mother..This is such a hard time in your life--my own mother passed away 4 1/2 years ago-then a brother & 2 sisters; then last year our son...Life is sometimes hard and that is why we have a Saviour--JESUS--without HIM where would any of us be? I love your books and will continue to pray for you & your family..Just know we care and have all of you in our prayers....God Bless all of you....

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  16. Bless you, dear friends, for sharing this pain with me and for walking this road beside me. The past couple of days have held challenge, most certainly, but also immense blessing and comfort. God's so faithful to give us everything we need right when we need it. Appreciating your continued prayers...

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  17. Praying with you and for you. Praying for peace and comfort for your family.

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  18. It broke my heart to read your post.your family is in my prayers. May God wrap his arms around you and your family and comfort your heart. --Holly Smith

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  19. Sarah Gilmer8/15/2009 11:01 PM

    I can't imagine what you're going through, but know that right now, I am lifting you and your family up in prayer. I am so thankful we have the one and only God who can comfort like no other. May He wrap His peaceful arms around your entire family at this time.

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  20. Just read through these comments for a second time, dear friends, and wish to thank you (again) for your outpouring of love and compassion. Most warmly...

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